Sunday, April 12, 2009

Britney's toxic wasted club

The real comeback at last weekend's Target Center concert was the sea of female fans dressed to spill.

Let's get it out of the way: We can officially declare Britney Spears' concert last weekend a comeback. Yep, as far as pole straddlers, lip synchers and clothes changers goes, that girl is definitely the bomb.

I'll give Britney that, and I'll give her handlers and minions props for putting on a mighty entertaining show, with its S&M-equipped dance routines, women in spinning cages and the steady stream of costumes you can buy only in stores that also carry root beer-flavored lubricants. It also would've been a perfect night to bring back the flaming-nipple brassiere that T-Pain's dancer lit up at Target Center back in January, but let's not get greedy.

The real comeback, though, was in the audience: Britney revived the floozy female concertgoer.

Most of the legions of young women at the show were old enough to smoke, but too young to know Madonna as anything other than that crazy old lady who adopts babies. Whether or not they were actually of age to drink, a whole lot of them were as slurry as Britney was this time last year.

When I interviewed fans after the concert, one girl dressed in a homemade "Britney Is My B----" T-shirt told me her favorite part of the show was "the alcohol." I walked by another girl upchucking on the sidewalk. It looked to me like she and her friends were headed over to Block E for a postconcert drink.

Although I never understand why someone pays $150 for a concert-they'll-never-forget, only to get memory-wiping drunk, that was nothing to get in a tizzy over. No, what really stunk up the joint was the ... can I just come right out and call it skankiness?

Everywhere you turned, you'd see tops that were one sneeze away from exposing too much and skirts hemmed closer to the butt crack than the knees. If "Girls Gone Wild" had been there, the producers would've been worried about showing too much.

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